Why on EARTH does this keep happening?
This time in Oregon.
Year after year after year.
The story goes something like this:
X person shoots Y people at Z campus at W location somewhere in America. Click To Tweet
X person shoots Y people at Z campus at W location somewhere in America.
The president speaks.
The media shows us photos of shell-shocked school administration, distraught parents, and “survivors” with their hearts still beating but their limbs blown off.
In order to make you feel sad, scared and helpless.
Then the oh-so-predictable ensues.
We mourn the dead.
We debate the topic of guns for about a week.
Then everyone goes back to their regular lives and forgets all about it.
Until it happens again next year.
It’s Your Fault, You Worthless Failure
The reason why bloody bodies have become the standard in movie theaters and college campuses is because everyone is quick to point the finger…
But everyone goes RADIO SILENT when it comes to devising a practical solution.
Everything is to blame.
The girl who dumped the boy.
The guy who supplied the gun.
The doctor that didn’t prescribe the meds.
The parents that didn’t love.
And then we debate these points on the news, radio, and twitter.
BUT NONE OF THIS MATTERS!
What someone needs who’s ready to blow students to smithereens on a college campus, throw themselves into a moving train or off a bridge is a way to prevent these thoughts from coming into their brain to begin with.
It should never get that bad.
The Fatal Spiral of Negativity
It all starts so simple.
Little Jonny get’s a A- on a math test then believes his parents and all his friends think he’s dumb.
His self-confidence and self-worth goes to shit.
He dumps his girlfriend (or the other way around) and wants to be alone.
Feels like he’s never heard or understood and starts to get depressed.
His parent being to think he’s nuts and need the doctor to prescribe oh-so-useful anti-depressants.
And before long, little Jonny stops thinking he’s worthless, he knows he’s worthless.
He’s slowly dying and screaming in pain on the inside. Click To Tweet
He’s slowly dying and screaming in pain on the inside.
Like Sawing a Live Whale in Half with a Bone-Saw
And feels IMMENSE SHAME and GUILT.
And that life’s no longer worth living because he’s FAILED!
He contemplates suicide.
But the DEVIL actually intervenes and says Click To Tweet
But the DEVIL actually intervenes and says
“Don’t just go you worthless idiot, take EVERYONE with you!”
And so the thought to blast peoples brains out is born.
All little Jonny needed was a simple solution to stop the hurt from spiraling out of control.
We need to focus on stopping these feelings before they start.
Not on hiding the axe, knife or shotgun.
He’ll just kill you with a No. 2 Pencil, or a butter knife. Click To Tweet
He’ll just kill you with a No. 2 Pencil, or a butter knife.
Unraveling the Mystery of Depression
Don't underestimate the power of an unchecked mind. Click To Tweet
Don’t kid yourself.
I know the thought of killing yourself has crossed your mind at least once. And in gory detail too, I’m sure.
Including me. You wouldn’t be normal if you didn’t.
There’s no need to feel embarrassed. Ok?
Truth is, if you’ve felt even slightly depressed, you have the potential to kill someone too.
Don’t underestimate the power of an unchecked mind.
That’s what happened to this poor shooter in Oregon.
Have you ever had so many thoughts run through your head at once that you couldn’t keep up?
Then you get anxious?
Anxiety is just a way to battle depression. Click To Tweet
Anxiety is just a way to battle depression.
But it takes energy to be anxious. Eventually, you just burn out and end up in bed, depressed. That’s all.
Then helplessness follows and that’s when you want to kill yourself and possibly others.
Contrary to what you might hear, the solution isn’t complicated and it won’t cost you $476,968.32 to be locked up in a Malibu rehab center.
My solution is simple.
Hi, I’m Brian Aganad, I’m a Yoga Teacher and I Make People Feel AMAZING & LOVED for a living.
I help people achieve things that they themselves never thought were even possible.
They develop an over-abundance of self-confidence, self-worth and the sense of achievement.
They in turn, feel obligated to share this positive energy and warmth with the world instead of destroying it.
I’m here to present a simple, practical solution to this diabolical problem.
So listen up…
If you’re currently thinking about blowing up your classmates or smashing a plane into the side of building OR if you feel hopelessly depressed or suicidal, listen, YOU DON’T HAVE TO. I HAVE YOUR SOLUTION.
A Simple 3 Step Process to Coming Back From the Dead
I’m no psychologist. But I can pull you out of any rut.
1. Tell Your Mother to Go to Hell
Pick the person who started the hurt in your life. (maybe it’s that darn math teacher)
Write a letter to them with pen and paper. SPILL EVERYTHING.
Rational or irrational.
Tell them EXACTLY the way they made you feel.
And tell her how much you HATE her and exactly what you want to do to her.
The goal of this exercise isn’t hurt your math teacher, it’s to silence that evil voice deep within you.
Be hurtful, ruthless, and brutal. Call her every name under the sun you can imagine and be hyper-critical of ever one of her flaws so that your poor math teacher would drop dead at the sight of it.
But don’t you DARE mail the damn thing. Click To Tweet
But don’t you DARE mail the damn thing.
Instead, just sit with that finished letter in your lap and observe what it feels like to YOU on the inside.
Then something amazing happens.
After you write it and sit with it for just 5 minutes, the hatred strangely starts to mellow and evaporate.
Then go burn it and make it vanish forever.
Great. You’ve silenced your inner voice. Now let’s ride that momentum.
2. Drive 100 MPH on the Freeway
But don’t kill yourself here!
Now you need to create something I call “Mood Shifters”.
Mood shifters are critical to stop depression and negativity from spiraling out of control.
Pick 5 things in your life that you know without a shadow of a doubt, the second you do them, they make you feel ridiculously happy. Then write them down in a notebook.
Here are my 5.
Keep in mind, I’m a yogi. And I hope you are too. Yoga makes me SO DAMN HAPPY.
- Doing handstands on my coffee table
- Eating a spoonful of almond butter topped with a square of dark chocolate, a cube of butter, and olive oil
- Going for a walk while listening to this song called “Tether”
- Inviting a friend over and cooking Filipino food for them
- Taking in a ridiculously embarrassingly high-pitched voice to my mom’s dogs, Pebbles and Patches
Thing is, you don’t have to do all of them, just one. But the magic is this:
Now that you’ve written these down, you have them, forever.
Listen close…
From now on, at the slightest hint of feeling something negative, stop what you’re doing and do a Mood Shifter. Ok?
3. Let’s Get High Together
No sorry, not on drugs.
On yoga.
Let’s do a simple, seated gratitude meditation.
As Tony Robins says, “Replace expectation with appreciation and it’s impossible to not be happy”
- Sit cross legged
- Put your hands in your lap
- I don’t care how you breathe just become aware of it
- Think about one thing in your life that you’re grateful for (come on you can do it)
- Now think about one thing you’ve achieved in your life that makes you feel proud OF YOURSELF
- Cycle back and forth between those thoughts for just 2 minutes
How do you feel now?
Can you even imagine wanting to blast someone in the face now?
It Doesn’t Matter How you Get to Paradise, as Long as You Enjoy the Journey
I’ve given you something so simple you’d be crazy NOT to do it.
It’s a lasting permanent solution.
Now that you have a way to keep your mind in-check. You can go on the offensive and find things that make you feel good all the time.
Like yoga.
You’ve stumbled upon the blog of a yoga nut.
It must be fate!
Look, I know this world isn’t an easy place live.
But you gotta start with what you can control and that’s your own thoughts! Click To Tweet
But you gotta start with what you can control and that’s your own thoughts!
Come on it’s not worth it to kill other people, or yourself.
There’s no other way to describe it other than being selfish.
Either Take My Advice, Or Die A Coward
I’m not asking you to see a therapist.
I’m not telling you to take a Zoloft or a Prozac.
I’m not even *slightly* hinting that you belong in a psych ward.
I’m just giving you something simple and practical because that’s all it takes.
You Are Understood
YOU are completely normal.
YOU are no different from anyone else on this planet.
We all have moments where we feel depressed, hopeless and stuck.
That’s normal.
But it’s all in how you deal with those feelings.
Just like dealing with the rain.
We keep an umbrella just in case.
I’ve given that to you.
This Article is Worth My Time If It Saves Even One Life Click To Tweet
This Article is Worth My Time If It Saves Even One Life
It’s heart wrenching to watch you live an embattled life.
So seriously, listen!
If you’re thinking of killing yourself and taking others with you on the way. WAKE UP!
I HAVE A PLAN FOR YOU RIGHT HERE.
AND IT’S SIMPLE.
Let me tell you something.
YOU ARE VALUABLE.
You are worth more than YOU could possibly imagine.
I see it.
So put the gun down. Walk away from the cliff. Step away from the rope.
Smile. Take a deep breath. And appreciate this miracle we call life.
It’s that simple.
In the comments below, share:
1.) A time in your life when you’ve felt helpless and depressed and what you did to get out of it OR your best advice who feels that way.
2.) A yoga pose that helps you battle depression. You’re literally saving lives by doing this!
2014 was one of the worst, over other struggles the relationship to my cheating boyfriend collapsed. It was more than failed young love, I lost my positive outlook on life and should never be the same. After almost a year this article makes me remember my coping strategies…November, December and January were the worst. During this time I had regularly anxiety attacks in the evenings and nervous breakdowns after going to bed. Breathing was not possible. The thought of death was not too far-fetched. Sometimes I would wander the streets of my hometown for hours.
“The wound is the place where the light enters you.” – Rumi
During the days I kept a little piece of paper in my pocket with a quote on it and a way to survive the pain. I can’t remember the quote.. I must have lost this piece of paper in the process without recognition. Yoga was my biggest helper, I restarted my practice in January ’15. My mat was the only place that felt safe and Yoga the way to sort my thoughts.
“I suffered, I learned, I changed.” – Unknown
Hi Philo, there’re so many people that go through what you do, thanks for sharing. I know how hard it is to build the courage to share this stuff! And thank god for Downward Dog!
Thank you for this article. For two years I have been going through an ugly divorce. My life as I knew it was flipped upside down. I was angry, afraid, and very insecure about my future. I live half a country away from family, and amsolely responsible for my 13 yr old daughter, with no child support. A common story unfortunately. Yoga saved me. I found a beautiful studio close to home. From my very first class I felt I was home. Physical, spirituality , emotionally. So much positive energy and love. I am no longer afraid, angry or lonley. I am grateful, strong, positive, calm, and see this adversity in my live as an opportunity to grow!
Hi Buffi, such an amazing story and an inspiration to everyone. You’re a whole lot braver than most. It’s scary to leave a partner (most would rather stay and live a life of tortured existence), but 2 years later you’re free and found yoga! Now how amazing is that? Anytime you have questions or need help with yoga, never feel shy to ask. 🙂
Great thoughts! And I also believe that yoga is a great way to teach people how to start controlling themselves, and to bring armory to this society. Cheers!
Hi Flor, I couldn’t agree more with you!
Thanks for this post Brian. I LOVE LOVE LOVE your writing. It’s so comforting and so honest. I’ve been following your blog for awhile now and I want to tell you that you have a way of writing that hits home for me every time. You seem to always know exactly what other’s are thinking and how they’re feeling. And I love the videos you’ve been posting lately, you’re a man of many talents. Thanks for everything. 🙂
Thanks for the kind words Sammy! Anytime you have questions about anything, don’t be a stranger. I’m happy to help! 🙂
I am simply thankful, daily, for the goodness that surrounds me and for vulnerable, brave souls who are willing to extend their hearts and express themselves.
Brian, I appreciate you and your fearlessness in stepping forward and sharing, helping and encouraging others- it is inspirational! (Your yoga info rocks, too!)
To those who are suffering: Whatever it is that brings you back to center: yoga, hiking, playing with legos…do it! Yoga, mantra, pranayama, meditation and music are all my loves and balance me and bring me back into harmony with myself, my thoughts and my feelings. We must remember that life will occasionally be painful, but suffering is an option. Choose wisely and allow yourself to be loving and caring toward yourself, like you would a small child in need. Tenderness toward self is a monumental leap, for some, but can move, heal, release, mountains of old emotional pain.
Above all else, know you are loved. Without judgement, without a doubt, totally and completely and ALWAYS – You are loved.
Tracy
Tracy, thanks so much sharing, you’re so right about everything you say. It’s important for people to understand that no matter how desperate they feel, they’re never alone. Sometimes, all you have to do is ask for help. It’s a scary thought for some people and one of the hardest things to do. Great comment!
Wow Brian! I just saw your FB page and signed up the other day… who knew the timing would be so significant! Thank you for this. I’ve been considering the same question over the past 24 hours, and I agree that we yogis do have the key!
*** I hope my comment here will help somebody out there ***
— I’m going to focus on the two points you asked us to share. —
1.) A time in my life when I felt helpless and depressed was March 2013 – February 2015. I think that the depression actually may have started earlier – perhaps postpartum or post-weaning. Once I weaned my son in Sept 2012 I started drinking every night. I recall feeling confused about my new identity, frustrated that I had a partner who I believed always put himself and his wants before mine (looking back – that may have been depressive thoughts, not reality), unattractive (specifically not sexy to my husband – I’d always been his “dream girl” prior to pregnancy – now I couldn’t even get him to shower for adult playtime), and pretty useless (my body had been used to make a human, provide sustenance to an infant who would have starved without me — and now it was just me, and my flabby apparently no longer sexual body).
Whether it was depression or me just being a horrible, shallow, selfish, spiteful whore of a human – I messed it all up in the worst way!
— And *NEARLY EVERYONE* who I thought loved me turned their back on me. —
I was isolated in my home from family and friends and abused physically, verbally, mentally and emotionally for months. And those who found out, or saw the bruises, or saw him berating me in public did nothing. Why would they? I deserved it. I was scum of the earth getting exactly what I deserved. Everyone knew it.
One well-meaning co-worker confronted me after coming to work 2 hours late due to that morning’s beating and scared me into going to the hospital in order to document what was going on by telling me that Social Services could possibly take my son if he even talked to a caretaker about what was happening in my home and the state saw me as “allowing” it to happen.
But I got fired; my workplace knew what was happening in my home, but it didn’t matter – my performance was suffering due to being terrorized and unable to come and go as I pleased – being late to work due to enduring beatings and verbal assaults in the morning before I could leave the house. I was unemployed and at his mercy.
The physical abuse stopped after a few months, but the broken trust and home prevented him from being able to heal in a way that would allow him to stop the verbal and emotional abuse for a long time.
It wasn’t until after the physical stuff, and during the prolonged psychological torture that ensued, that my thoughts turned to suicide. During the physical stuff, it was like I was in survival mode; trying to keep myself and my son safe (he was never in any physical danger; but he was witness to many instances of physical and verbal abuse).
After the physical abuse stopped and I was no longer in fight or flight mode, I just felt trapped in un-ending unhappiness. His statements that I should kill myself – it would really be better for our son somehow – started to sink in and make sense to me.
I finally told my mom the truth – showed her the pictures I had secretly emailed to a friend. And she surprisingly dropped everything and drove across 2.5 states to “rescue” me.
I was isolated… but I found yoga challenges on instagram. I had practiced yoga for years. And I could focus on learning new yoga poses; there was a community I could connect to. There was inspiration in many of the community member’s posts. There was HOPE! 🙂
My mom telling me that she loved me and doing whatever she could to help; playing, singing and dancing with my son; yoga; IG yoga challenges and the IG yoga community; my one friend (I really felt like I was totally scum to everyone but her – and she HATED what I did, but LOVED me anyway); a new (dream) job out of town; new co-workers who I actually was able to let in and connect with (really surprised me – they are just truly loving, wonderful people!!) … helped me get out of that place.
2.) Inversions. I didn’t really know the amazing benefits of inversions, but I thought I would *do* or *be* worth SOMETHING if I could do those amazing handstands and other inversions that I saw amazing yogis doing on IG. I spent so much time working on inversions. I spent so much time upside down. I do believe that literally spending so much time upside down played an important part in saving my life. Plus, I did achieve amazing feats of human strength and flexibility through my yoga practice. I had a great reason now to see how useful and amazing my body was.
I’ve never made any of this public before. But I have been thinking that my story might help someone out there… An important lesson I have taken from my own story is the potential within each of us to behave like a horrible monster. Strategies for changing a violent culture cannot focus exclusively on punishment and laws about weapons. My husband never thought he would hit me or threaten to take my son away from me forever or make me afraid for my safety at home. He also never ever thought about what he would do in the situation that he shockingly found himself in under the stress we were under … so he respond with the hate and violence that our culture teaches (that is especially ok when someone screws up in a way that hurts you really badly!).
Thank you very much for giving me this forum to write about it.
Namaste….
Hi Michelle, you’re awesome! Thanks for being so brave and sharing. Doesn’t it feel good? And yes, inversions always do the trick for me!! Welcome to the asana academy family, anytime you have questions about inversions or anything, please don’t hesitate to ask, more than happy to help! 🙂
Yes! Feels carhartic to write it, and to re-read it for myself. Feels like a really important piece of healing and moving forward in life!! Thank you for posting it.
I’m glad! And yes, writing things down is a really powerful (and underestimated) tool for healing!
Fabulous article! Thank you for reading my mind! ❤️?❤️
Cricket, I’m so glad you enjoyed it! Let me know if you ever have any questions, more than happy to help! 🙂
One of the best responses to madness I’ve ever read. And just plain good advise for maintaining sanity in a mad world in turbulent times!
I’m so glad you enjoyed it Michelle! 🙂
So many good comments already. Here is my two cents: I believe society needs to find a way to teach mindfulness and meditation to young children (and adults) versus letting their minds rule their emotions. People like the recent shooter believe their thoughts are real, when they are not. Too much noise & electronics feeding the brain. Making space for quiet time, meditation & mindfulness (and compassion) is a good start for turning this craziness around.
Hi Dee, I agree with everything you say! Acting before thinking has become the norm versus thinking before acting.
I understand this post came from a place of sadness at loss of life and a desire to help but I read it and shook my head in despair. The large majority of people with mental disorders do NOT engage in violence and a study showed fewer than 5% of 120000 gun related killings were perpetrated by people with mental illness. In fact people with mental illness are more likely to be the victims of violence (sources: Mental illness and reduction of gun violence and suicide, Annals of Epidemiology, Mental illness, mass shootings and the politics of American firearms, American Journal of Public Health and Community violence, perpetration and victimisation – also American Journal of Public Health).
I love yoga and for lots of us it is a great coping strategy. Exercise and meditation, whether in the context of yoga or not, are regarded by the medical community as excellent ways to combat black moods and boost confidence. But to imply that writing a hate letter, writing your favourite things and then doing some yoga is a cure for actual clinical depression, caused by chemical imbalance, is not going to be helpful to those who experience it.
I love that you speak your mind and say things as you see them…but I felt this article was off the mark for me. America doesn’t have a mental illness problem, it has a gun problem. Here in the UK we have people with mental illness and we have people who try to kill other people but we don’t have a gun crime issue or such a crazy death toll. Try and kill a whole classroom of people with a butter knife and you won’t get too far.
How about – restrict weapons, improve mental health care AND do more yoga? Now that I can get behind!!
Love from the UK xx
I saw that whale shark get sawed in half on YouTube… Not cool!
We see solutions because we’ve worked past our problems. From this perspective they seem simple and obvious. But most people are so lost in mental and physical illness that they can’t see anything. It takes incredible strength and perseverance to rise above that… So much so that the majority of people don’t even try. And of those that do… Most give up when they encounter the real resistance. Until the mainstream evolves past this nonsense, we will continue to see people losing their minds and doing insane shit. In the meantime, good people will continue to demonstrate solutions and invest heavily in bulletproof vests. I’m just thankful that the shooters haven’t targeted yoga studios yet.
David, agree with that!